Please think before you speak especially when talking to someone who is grieving or suffering.  The following are some sentences to avoid:

  • “You’ll get over it.”
  • “I’m sure it will be just fine.”  (How do they know?)
  • “You look awful.” (Wow that really helps!)
  • “You look great.”  (Implying that the person should also feel great.)
  • “Are you over your loss yet?”
  • “My uncle had the same disease and died (or lived).” 
  • “Well, here’s what I think you should do . . .”
  • “God doesn’t promise us a rose garden.” (Or other trite sayings)
  • “What have you learned from this tragedy?”
  • “Well, you know what the Bible says:  Forgive 70 times 7.” (or some other pulverizing verse.)

A wise person reminds us:  “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”  Proverbs 12:18

Think before you speak.

Photo credit: David Goehring



Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder is the founder of the Wisdom of the Wounded ministry. She lives in Holland, Michigan with her husband Larry.


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