What to say

Recent Articles

My Friends Don’t Care


Recently, I received a letter from Marcia.  She says, “For the past 1.5 years, I’ve been balancing working full time, meeting the needs of my own family and being primary caregiver for my mom who is losing the cancer battle. I am weary and worn. I am so terribly disappointed in my circle of friends […]

You Don’t Look Sick


Deanna Thompson has stage IV breast cancer and has written a book about her journey.  The book’s title is Hoping for More. Deanna’s insights are for everyone who has ever struggled with serious illness or loved someone who has, which means that this book is ultimately for everyone. “You don’t look sick,” was a common […]

Think Before You Speak


Please think before you speak especially when talking to someone who is grieving or suffering.  The following are some sentences to avoid: “You’ll get over it.” “I’m sure it will be just fine.”  (How do they know?) “You look awful.” (Wow that really helps!) “You look great.”  (Implying that the person should also feel great.) […]

Invite conversation on the anniversary date of a loved one’s death


It is helpful to remember individuals who are grieving want to know that others remember the one who has died.  They want to talk about the deceased person. JoAnne said to me, “Today, it has been one year since my husband died.” I asked her, “How long were you married?” She replied, “Sixty-five years.” I […]

Something is Better Than Nothing


Sadness is awkward. It makes us uncomfortable when other people are in pain. Wouldn’t you agree? Today’s wisdom is from Kendra Broekhuis whose baby died when she was 33 weeks along in her pregnancy. Kendra says, “Sadness is awkward. It makes us uncomfortable when other people are in pain. For that reason we might think […]

72 Questions


Do you ever wonder what to talk about when you go to visit an elderly aunt, grandfather or parent? If so, check out Telling Life’s Stories on my website.  There you will find approximately 72 questions to ask someone about their life.  Such as: What was your favorite subject in school? Why? What was your first […]

What Can Anyone Say?


What would you say? Charlie Shedd says, “As I made my way up the walk, I heard a woman screaming.  Could it be Rebecca?  In trouble?  Dashing up the steps, I opened the door.  There she stood phone in hand, baby in arms, two others hanging to her apron.  I will never forget that picture:  […]