A note from Karen: This is an edited version of an article written by Judy Vanderwilt, published by her church’s newsletter, Salt and Light, during Lent 2026. We are republishing it here with permission in the hope that it will encourage those who are grieving; may they find their own version of this type of caring group in their community. And, perhaps your church or community group may be inspired to start a version of REST for those who grieve.

By Judy Vanderwilt

Twice a month under the calendar of events sponsored by my church is a listing for REST.  This event occurs on the 2^nd and 4^th Mondays from 11:00 a.m.-12:30 p.m. and meets in my church’s chapel.  But what is the purpose of this event and who attends?

REST is an acronym that stands for:

R = Relax

E = Empathy

S = Share

T = Thanksgiving

Since the group’s inception about 12 years ago, the focus for the group has been to provide support for persons who are care givers for a family member and/or persons who have recently experienced the death of a loved one.  In recent years, the group has expanded to include persons who deal with any number of stressful events in their lives.

Over the years the group has continued to meet regularly, and its membership has continued to grow; anywhere from 12 to 16 persons are present at each session.  At each meeting, one of the pastors begins by sharing a reading, a poem, a prayer, and/or any other meaningful expression of hope and grace for those in attendance.  Following that, people are invited to share what’s on their minds.  During the time of sharing, the group experiences moments of laughter as well as times of tears.

Recently, participants were invited to share what they value about REST.  Some of their comments are listed below:

• REST has brought me support, hope, and friendship when it was greatly needed in my life.  Also, information is shared to help with coping with the loss of loved ones.
• I was a latecomer to REST and was warmly welcomed.  People are wonderful listeners without giving advice.
• REST is a place of support and strength where we bring our joys and sorrows. We share our achievements and setbacks.
• REST is a special time to reminisce about our loss and pray for each other in our grief.
• REST means support and kindness.  The group really knows me, understands my pain, and accepts me.  We also have fun together.
• REST offers unconditional support and encouragement.  I have built new friendships and appreciate the perspectives of others.  The group exhibits a joyful spirit.
• I was too busy for REST while my husband was alive, but after his death I wanted to help others who are going down a similar path.  REST has given me support and comfort.  I still need REST to receive care and to be a way of giving care and support to others.  It has become a beloved community for me.
• I have found REST to be a warm nonjudgmental group where I can speak what’s on my heart.  It provides ongoing support beyond the crisis months after loss.
• Members speak in turn, sharing not only stories of grief, but also life moments, plans, good times, and family news.
• REST has strengthened my connection to my church.  The opening messages from the pastors are helpful and positive.

 As these comments suggest, care for one another is central, even as participants rely on God’s grace and comfort to sustain them.