The following wisdom is from Max Lucado.  He asks, “Do you have a hole in your heart?” Perhaps the wound is old, a parent abused you, or a teacher slighted you.

… And you are angry.

Or perhaps the wound is fresh. The friend who owes you money just drove by in a new car. The boss who hired you with promises of promotions has forgotten how to pronounce your name. Your circle of friends escaped on a weekend getaway, and you weren’t invited.

….And you are hurt.

Part of you is broken and the other part is bitter. Part of you wants to cry and part of you wants to fight. The tears you cry are hot because they come from your heart, and there is a fire burning in your heart. The fire of anger is blazing. It’s consuming. Its flames leap up under a steaming pot of revenge.

You are left with a decision. “Do I put the fire out or heat it up? Do I get over it or get even? Do I release it or resent it? Do I let my hurts heal, or do I let hurt turn into hate?”

Resentment is the deliberate decision to nurse the offense until it becomes a black, furry, growling grudge.

Unfaithfulness is wrong.  Revenge is bad.  But the worst part of all is that without forgiveness, bitterness is all that is left.

God forgives the past. Imitate God.

Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Who do you need to forgive?


Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder is the founder of the Wisdom of the Wounded ministry. She lives in Holland, Michigan with her husband Larry.

1 Comment

  1. Karen Olson

    This what we don’t understand as Christians. Our daughter told us last Sept that she no longer wanted us in their lives (husband along with only granddaughter). We have not been in contact for 8 months. We are shattered as parents who have loved and devoted our lives to our children and granddaughter. My husband and I (74 & 76) have been followers of Christ for most of our lives. YES we are sinner! YES we are flawed. YES we make mistakes! YES we apparently hurt our daughter but the reasons she gave were vague and hardly worthy of being discarded – rejected.

    We’ve tried contacting their pastor. He does not respond but we are trusting God to work this out for His glory. Is it easy – NO! Do we cry most days? YES. Do we wake up every morning to face this nightmare and roller coaster ride all over again – YES!

    This apparently is an epidemic in our country. No one wants to help, no one seems interested in addressing this issue among many Christian families.
    What is going on? Where is obedience to God from these young Christians?

    Pray for our family, please, and all those suffering from this estrangement syndrome. Many thousands are suffering terribly.

    Thank you

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.