From “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and It’s All Small Stuff” by Richard Carlson:

An acquaintance of mine, whose health isn’t very good, recently told me that she hasn’t spoken to her son in almost three years. “Why not?” I asked.  She said that she and her son had a disagreement about his wife and that she wouldn’t speak to him again unless he called first.  When I suggested that she be the one to reach out, she resisted initially and said, “I can’t do that.  He’s the one who should apologize.”  She was literally willing to die before reaching out to her only son.  After a little gentle encouragement, however, she did decide to be the first one to reach out.  To her amazement, her son was grateful for her willingness to call and offered an apology of his own.  As is usually the case when someone takes the chance and reaches out, everyone wins.

Whenever we hold on to our anger, we turn “small stuff” into really “big stuff” in our minds.  We start to believe that our positions are more important than our happiness.  They are not.

If you want to be a more peaceful person you must understand that being right is almost never more important than allowing yourself to be happy.  The way to be happy is to let go, and reach out.  Let other people be right.  This doesn’t mean that you’re wrong.  Everything will be fine.  You’ll experience the peace of letting go, as well as the joy of letting others be right.  You’ll also notice that, as you reach out and let others be “right,” they will become less defensive and more loving to you.  They might even reach back.  But, if for some reason they don’t, that’s okay too.  You’ll have the inner satisfaction of knowing that you have done your part to create a more loving world, and certainly you’ll be more peaceful yourself.


Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder is the founder of the Wisdom of the Wounded ministry. She lives in Holland, Michigan with her husband Larry.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.