Receiving a note or card is like being hugged.

Elsie, whose son Larry died by suicide, said, “I especially valued those sympathy cards and notes which contained some of the sender’s personal thoughts and words remembering something that they admired or appreciated about my deceased loved one.” There are many beautiful sympathy cards available, but to make the cards more meaningful include some of your personal words/thoughts.

Elsie said, “I kept all the notes and cards in a scrapbook. The personal notes continued to bring me quiet joy and courage every time that I read them.”

Elsie shares the sample of sentences which were a blessing to her and her husband:

  • “I hug you to my heart.”
  • “Sometimes it is not possible to express feelings. This is one of those times.” (After the memorial service this former classmate of Larry’s wept and hugged us.)
  • “May you see Larry surrounded by God’s love, content and happy.”
  • “May God hold you in his hand and carry you forward until some understanding of all this comes and healing begins. It will come and it will begin for you and all of your many friends, but for now it is so muddled. We love you dearly.”
  • “On Sunday mornings we greet each other with ‘the Peace of Christ be with you.’ Last Sunday that prayer and promise took on new meaning as we thought of you and your pain. That prayer will continue to be our prayer for you in the days ahead.”

Personal notes will continue to bring comfort, strength, love and energy as the grieving persons read and reread them. Even if you don’t know the family well, it will mean the world to them if you reach out.

From: The Compassionate Congregation, Karen Mulder and Ginger Jurries

Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder is the founder of the Wisdom of the Wounded ministry. She lives in Holland, Michigan with her husband Larry.


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