By Father Charles Hudson. Source from Reclaiming Christmas, by Ginger Jurries. When faced with the loss of a loved one we are forced to make a decision to help ourselves move through the pain. The holidays increase the pain because they validate the absence and the death of our child or sibling (or mate) and challenge us to make some basic decisions on just how we will get through the next few weeks. I would like to make a few suggestions for you to ponder and decide upon as the holidays descend upon us.