I was napping, or trying to, on my Florida deck, and couldn’t accomplish my goal, because workers below me were digging a trench and chatting constantly. Most of their conversations were muffled, but one comment rang loud and clear.  One man said, “He knew my name,” and then he repeated it, “He knew my name!”  I don’t know who it was that knew his name, but I was struck by how important the recognition was.  This man below my deck felt seen and valued because someone knew his name.

This incident reminded me of the theme song from the classic TV show, “Cheers.”

Sometimes you wanna go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same

Sometimes you wanna go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

The setting for “Cheers” was a cozy bar in Boston. Everyone did know each other’s name, with regular bar patron Norm always receiving a resounding “Norm!” whenever he walked in.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our churches could boast: “Our church is a place where everybody knows your name?”  Or wouldn’t it be wonderful if we began calling the grocery store clerk or the waitress or the nurses in our doctor’s office by their names? What a difference we might make. Individuals would feel seen and valued.  We just might boost their feelings of self-worth for a moment or a day, and they just might pass on those warm feelings to others.

So, how can we remember a person’s name? My three-step formula:

1. SAY IT.  Repeat often the name while you are with the person and say it again and again when you think of the person.
2. CONNECT WITH IT. Connect the name with something or someone else.  Recently I met Barb & Dennis.  Immediately, I thought of Dennis the Menace. So now I will remember this couple by the connection “Barb’s Dennis the Menace.” Also, recently, I kept forgetting the name of my son’s doctor which is “Richardson.” Then I connected the name with “Rich Son.”
3. WRITE IT.  My son Michael is a track coach and has lots of names and faces to remember.  So, he makes flash cards with a person’s picture, name, and something interesting about the person. Then whenever time allows, he reviews the cards.
   
   My version of this is to record the new name on my phone contacts under the letter “U” (Unknown). Sometimes I include a picture.

Five years ago, while working on a Boys & Girls Club project in Fellsmere, Florida, I met the mayor of Fellsmere, Joel Tyson. Joel was in his early 90’s and was a fun, busy mayor. Five years later, Larry and I were in a restaurant, and Larry pointed to a person seated nearby and said, “Isn’t that the mayor of Fellsmere?” Larry proceeded to approach the man and sure enough it was Joel.  Soon into the conversation, I heard Joel ask, “Where is Karen?”

“He knew my name!”  “He knew my name!”                                

Once again, I was struck by how important name recognition is.  When we use a person’s name, they feel seen, known and valued.

Who can we care for today—with the simple act of remembering and saying their name?