WISDOM
Writing a Note: 3-Rs
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09/28/2015

I know that it is important to write a note to a grieving person. I want to write a note, but I often procrastinate and don’t write it because I do not know what to say. Please give me some advice on writing a note to a grieving person.

I do not have an ironclad formula that must be followed when writing a note; however,
I will share with you my “3 Rs of Writing a Condolence Note”:

#1 – BE REAL
#2 – RECALL
#3 – REMIND

#1 BE REAL: As you reach out, admit your honest feelings. If the news stunned you, say so. If you are overwhelmed with pity and compassion, admit it. So recently in writing a note to Connie, I said, “When we heard of Hal’s death we felt so sad.” That’s how I felt, so that’s what I wrote.

#2 RECALL:  Recall an important event or memory or fun bit of wisdom you learned from the deceased, and use the deceased’s name.  For example, I said, “I remember years ago when you and Hal were in my Bethel Bible class.  I can still see you sitting in the back right hand corner of the room.  You were so faithful and I often thought, “What a dedicated couple – to the class, and to each other.”” So I was recalling a memory.

#3 REMIND: Remind the person you are writing to that they are still valued, and loved by you and by others and by God. So I said in conclusion to Connie, “Whenever I think of you I see a beautiful woman with a lovely smile which lights up a room or any other place where she is.  May all your memories continue to bring a smile to your heart and to the world.”

May these be helpful as you reach out to write a note.  God bless.

To download a free e-book on simple ways to care for the people in your life go to our post  titled 122+ Ways to Care Well.

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