What do you say when someone is crying? You hate it when someone you care about cries.  You feel helpless, awkward and uneasy. You want to do something. So often you say things like, “It’ll be okay. Don’t worry.”

Speaker and author Kim Hamer says, “What a person needs when going through a crisis is a witness.  They need someone to acknowledge the fact that what they are going through is very difficult.  Their life is crappy.” Kim is familiar with the pain of loss. Her husband passed away from cancer at the age of 44. She wrote 100 Acts of Love: the Girlfriends Guide to Loving Your Friend Through Cancer or Loss to help others who were suffering.

What do you say when someone is crying?  You could say:

    • “I am so sorry that you are going through this.”
    • “Your pain breaks my heart.”

It is okay if you, the caregiver, also shed some tears.  As theologian Nicholas Wolterstorff states, “Another’s tears are salve on our wounds.”

For more wisdom from Kim, watch her video on What to Say When Someone Cries.

Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder is the founder of the Wisdom of the Wounded ministry. She lives in Holland, Michigan with her husband Larry.


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