Share a memory on the anniversary date of a loved one’s death

by Practical Guidance, Wisdom Podcasts0 comments

Since survivors appreciate remembering  the “good times” of their loved one, share your memories in a note.  Far more cherished than preprinted sympathy cards are handwritten notes that begin, “I’ll never forget the time that. . .” or, “Let me tell you why _______ meant so much to me,” or “Your father was . . .”

For example, I could say to my nephews and nieces, when remembering my brother’s death: “Your dad was such a tease.  I remember one time when your Aunt Loretta and I decided to sleep outside in a tent, and we were just settling down when something huge hit our tent.  We were sure it was a bear and we ran screaming and crying into the house.  It seems that your dad had decided to go to bed early that night, and had quietly climbed out a window onto the roof and had thrown a basketball as hard as he could at our tent.  He thought that the whole thing was so funny!”

If I was speaking directly to my nieces and nephews then I could say, “I bet that you have lots of fun stories about your dad.  I sure would love to hear some of your stories.”

A woman from our caregiving handbook said, “When my seven-year-old son died, one of the most thoughtful things that several people did was to give me pictures and even a video-tape of my son, which I had never seen before.  What a treasure.”

Those who are grieving want to know that others remember their grief and their loved one.  To remember is a precious gift.

For more information on this topic, listen to the podcasts: what to say on the anniversary of someone’s death and invite conversation on the anniversary of someone’s death

Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder

Karen Mulder is the founder of the Wisdom of the Wounded ministry. She lives in Holland, Michigan with her husband Larry.


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