Sometimes I whisper, “Forgive me mom. I didn’t know.” My lovely mother died eight years ago, and when she was in a nursing home for six years, I certainly made some careless caregiving mistakes.
For example, when my mom was recovering from pneumonia and was bed-ridden, many grandchildren and relatives visited her. That was wonderful, but I was so happy to see some of these individuals that what was supposed to be a visit with my mother became a social occasion.
How can we care for a person with cancer? Ask Important Questions! Ask, “How are you, today?” and also ask, “What’s going to be the hard part for you?” Be sincere and show them that what they are going through is important to you. Tell them you’re coming over …. Then visit them. Be creative with special treats and conversations that will brighten their days. Even if they say they don’t need anything, that’s when they will most appreciate that you are there.
Reminiscing is healthy! It's the process by which we make sense out of this mystery we call life. Reminiscing helps those who are older to find meaning and purpose in the years they have lived. It can create new levels of appreciation and intimacy between generations and can transform times spent beside beds or other visits into memorable times together.
The following questions will provide you with hours of worthwhile communication. If possible, tape or write down your discussions. Then the stories can be shared with other family members and friends.
