Did you know that the phrase “Uh huh” is in the dictionary? It means “agreement” and is used instead of responding with “yes.”  Perhaps it means “yes” but to my mind it often carries the connotation, “I am kind of listening, but actually too busy to really listen, but maybe the ‘uh huh’ will satisfy you.”

For example, young Suzie has this figured out when she says, “Mommy, listen to me.  Quit saying, ‘Uh huh,’ and give me an answer.”

How many parents are guilty of tuning out their children’s chatter, offering only a few well-spaced, “Uh huh’s?”

Thinking back to when my sons were young, I hope that I didn’t tune them out and pretend listening by saying “Uh huh.”  However, like others, I am afraid that I often allowed my busy agenda to take the place of stopping and really listening to my sons, which makes me sad.

Back then, I could have used advice from Lisa Smith, the “Peaceful Parent” coach who wrote a post for our ministry on the power of parental presence. Lisa often writes about how important it is that parents create connections with their children. And one of the most important connection-builders is to be present for those you love. (This works with spouses and friends too!) Lisa says, “When you carve out that dedicated time, you’re telling your child, ‘I see you, I love you, I’m here for you.’ That’s what builds their feeling of worth and safety.”

So, my suggestion is this: replace “uh huh” with “Tell me more . . .” to show that you are really listening.  Try it and see how it works for you!