People often tell me that one of the most difficult times after a loss comes during the holiday season. When someone is grieving, feeling celebratory may feel out of reach. Or perhaps the sorrow has faded, and now bittersweet memories remain. So, how can you support a grieving heart during the holidays?

Share Memories Through Photos

Send a holiday card with a photo of their loved one or a cherished memory. Encourage them to display it with their decorations or help them gather and showcase a collection of photos at home.

Gift a Special Ornament

Give a meaningful ornament that reminds you of their loved one. Involve children in making or selecting the ornament and offer to help place it on the tree or find a special spot for it.

Be a Listening Ear

Invite them to share their thoughts about holiday challenges. Let them talk about the moments they’ll miss their loved one most and offer supportive responses when asked how they’re doing.

Spread Holiday Cheer

Brighten someone else’s Christmas together by volunteering, preparing a meal, or performing small acts of kindness. Helping others can lift spirits and bring joy during the holidays.

Record and Share Memories

Reminisce about past Christmases, sharing stories and traditions. Encourage them to write down or record these memories and offer to help document these moments for future generations.

Show and Accept Emotion

Let them know it’s okay to express their feelings and cry. Sometimes, just being there can provide immense comfort.

Encourage Joy

Encourage balancing grief with joyful activities; invite them for a winter-themed activity like going out for hot cocoa. Support them in finding moments of happiness and letting them know they’re not alone.

For the past two Christmases, I’ve given a small gift to all the spouses in my church whose partner had died during the past year. Last year the gift was a pretty Cardinal bird to add to their tree or hang in a window. A Cardinal is a symbol associated with hope, joy and the birth of Jesus; I hope that this gesture brought them a measure of comfort during their season of grief.

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