Years passed. I married a wonderful Christian man and two years into our marriage our first little girl was born. In the days that followed, the harder I tried to care for our vulnerable, colicky baby, the more desperate and out-of-control I became. That desperation triggered the memory of the helplessness that I felt as a ten-year-old. My past began to haunt me. Migraine headaches and nightmares became frequent. I struggled with intense explosive anger. I was depressed, critical with my husband and I felt undeserving of God’s love.