I have 11grandchildren and four great grandchildren. Babies bring such joy! Each time Larry and I welcomed a little one to the family, we felt so blessed.  

And yet, for the parents of newborns, there are other feelings in addition to joy: perhaps anxiety for the first time parent, and certainly there is exhaustion.

How can you be a caring friend to families with a newborn? I asked my ministry team member Giles, who has a young son, to reflect on those first month in their household—what could people do to support new parents?

Here’s what he shared.

Tangible, Practical Help for New Parents

Giles suggested these practical, hands-on ways friends can lighten the load.

• Home cooked meals were the biggest help to me and my wife.
• If you offer to do my dishes or laundry, I will have a hard time watching you do this since I TECHNICALLY can do it myself. It’s so helpful when someone directly tells me they are going to do it and that I should just rest or spend time with the baby.
• Offer to take the baby on a walk in the stroller.

Caring for Parents’ Emotional and Physical Well-Being

For those people who can’t do the “hands-on” type caregiving, there are still many ways to show you care. New parents need encouragement to take time for themselves, and you can offer to help out while they do so. Also, keep in mind that new parents will probably appreciate these offers well after the baby is born, not just in the first few weeks. Here are Giles’ top ideas for providing this type of support.

• We needed naps too! We are very tired as new parents or as a growing family of multiple kids. Maybe you could offer to simply sit with the baby while one of us naps and the other ran errands.
• I was the caretaker for my wife, and I started to go crazy. Alone time to go exercise or see a friend was very good for me.
• As much as my wife and I loved our new baby, we needed time alone together too.
• Please check in after our meal train has ended. This is where we start to feel alone.

Respecting Boundaries and Being Sensitive

Everyone parents their children differently, so it’s important to honor a new parent’s wishes with respect to holding the baby, ideas about feeding, and so on. This is especially true during those first months when new parents are feeling understandably protective of their infant. As we say in our ministry, it’s best to “leave your advice on the shelf.” If a new parent wants specific advice he or she will ask. Often, the best support is simply being there and listening.

Giles offers these suggestions for well-meaning family and friends:

• Please do not kiss my baby.
• Please ask before you hold my baby. I’m happy to share, but you must wash your hands!
• Please don’t judge me if my baby doesn’t sleep through the night when you think they should.
• Don’t tell me it gets harder.
• Don’t say “just wait until they’re crawling, walking,” etc…

A new baby in the house is an exciting, eventful—and sometimes chaotic—time. We are so grateful to Giles for sharing his experiences for how to Care Well.  Perhaps his ideas will inspire you to reach out to a new parent in your circle of friends.