Grief is a normal and natural process by which a person makes a healthy adjustment to any significant loss in his or her life. Any significant loss (the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a broken marriage, deterioration of health, a shattered dream) triggers the process.
I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. When people are talking . . .listen to what they're saying. Care about it. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of simply saying, "I'm so sorry," when someone is in pain. And meaning it. One of my patients told me that when she tried to tell her story people often interrupted to tell her that they once had something just like than happen to them.
A story which I heard 11 years ago reminds me of a powerful way to care for people who are hurting. Gregory Richards was a chaplain to terminally ill children in a New York hospital. He tells of one of his experiences in the following story:
I read an on-line devotional called, “Stillspeaking Devotional” from the United Church of Christ. I like the name...
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Good, empathetic listening is a caregiving guideline that is often taken for granted or overlooked, but it is often the most powerful way you can help a person who is suffering.
