Caregiving Basics
In any caregiving situation, there are four basic guidelines
to help ensure that you offer loved ones
the attention and support that they need.
PRAY
Whether before, during or after a caregiving experience, prayer helps ensure that our caregiving reflects the heart of God. In praying before we offer care, we acknowledge our reliance on God’s strength and healing. Prayer in the midst of care directly communicates our support for our friend, reminding them of the comforting power of the Holy Spirit (remember: ask permission to pray with a friend as well as what their prayer requests are). Following up your care with a commitment to continue praying offers additional encouragement and support for the one in need.
LISTEN
Compassionate empathetic listening is a caregiving guideline that is often taken for granted or overlooked, but it’s often the most powerful way you can help a person who is suffering. To listen well you must offer your complete, undistracted attention. You must also commit to hearing more than speaking, resisting the urge to give advice or tell your own story. When you respond, acknowledge the person’s pain and ask clarifying questions. You may also encourage them to name their own feelings, struggles and thoughts.
RESPECT THE GRIEF JOURNEY
Grief is a normal and natural journey by which a person makes a healthy adjustment to any significant loss in his or her life. Anticipating and accepting the emotions a grieving person experiences will let them know you are open and kind, offering room for them to process and feel what is happening for them in healthy ways. Emotions you may observe in a grieving friend include shock, denial, depression, anger, fear and bargaining. As you welcome and listen to these emotions without managing them or offering tips and advice, you help a grieving person journey towards acceptance. Remember: stay present and gracious as you engage the wounded’s grief.
PRESERVE THE DIGNITY
“Human dignity” can be defined as one’s self-worth. Our caregiving should not diminish a person’s feelings of self-worth/self-respect. Whether we care for a co-worker who is going through a divorce, a friend who has cancer, or for a spouse or parent–we need to remember that the person is first of all a child created by God. So engage their thoughts, feelings, struggles and dreams in light of that truth. When you wonder how to respond, ask yourself what you would want done to you in that same situation.
Explore Articles on Caregiving Basics
Make Your Offer Specific
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Thoughtful Gifts
The following are suggestions from families who have received thoughtful gifts that helped them cope.
■Our family greatly appreciated the gift of restaurant gift cards when we were going through a crisis. No one felt like cooking, and going to a restaurant got us “up” and “out.”
■Cook a dinner for my family. (Bring the food in disposable containers or include your name on the returnable containers.)
Outings
Everyone has times during the week when they tend to feel most alone. Evenings - weekend evenings in particular - can be tough. Make a standing date with me to go to a movie or out for dinner, or...
Preserve the Dignity
What do you see when you are caring for another person? Do you see someone who is a burden, an irritation, an old needy person, or do you look for the strength and beauty of God’s image in that person? Do you help, in your method of caregiving, to preserve that person’s dignity?
Elvis and Wing-Tip Shoes
This is Elvis Evans. I am a former student of yours from way back in the days of 1977-78.
I do not think I ever had an opportunity to thank you. You were instrumental in the successes I have enjoyed in my life. In 1977, I was a lost kid looking for someone to understand me. I wore a hearing aide, which was an anomaly back then. I was also epileptic and wore orthopedic shoes, which back then only came in one style; wing tip.
Caring for Ourselves, The Caregivers
It is extremely important for the caregiver to take good care of him or herself as well as the care-receivers. CareGiving can be a thankless, exhausting job and it may seem selfish to take care of oneself when the care-receivers require so much attention. To fail to do so, however, can be destructive. Jesus said, “Love God….Love Neighbor…Love Self.”
The following guidelines are for care givers who feel overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, lonely, or like a “Caged Bird