"Two weeks before the birth of our son, the most dreadful thing happened: I discovered that my husband was having an affair. I had suspected it, but in every way possible I did want to believe it. However, what I had been denying inside became a reality; I was face to face with her and my husband. She didn’t belong in his arms. I did! My arms were empty and so was my heart.
I recently received this email from Cameron who was suddenly thrust into the role of caregiver for his wife, Heather, just after becoming a new father. Cameron tells his story of compassion and hope, then provides a link to a 3 minute video that further describes their journey.
Dear Karen:
I came across your blog and really identified with a lot of your writing. My name is Cameron and I was thrown into the role of caregiver when my wife, Heather, was diagnosed with a very rare and deadly cancer called mesothelioma, just three months after the birth of our only child.
It is extremely important for the caregiver to take good care of him or herself as well as the care-receivers. CareGiving can be a thankless, exhausting job and it may seem selfish to take care of oneself when the care-receivers require so much attention. To fail to do so, however, can be destructive. Jesus said, “Love God . . . Love Neighbor . . . Love Self.”
How can we give a suffering person something to look forward to? Hope. How can we give them hope? Martin Luther King, Jr said, “If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all.”
Do you know someone who is going through some dark days and needs a touch of hope?
A wonderful hospice nurse wrote a little book titled, 'May I Walk You Home'. In it she says, "Even the littlest of hopes can bring a bit of joy on a dark day." Help the person look forward to something.
I’d like you to imagine that you are different than you are. Perhaps quite different. Imagine that when you want to tell me something you cannot get the words to come out. Maybe you have something important to tell me, like you are hurting, and you cannot find words to tell me, or you cannot speak the words in a way that I can understand. Perhaps because you are different, someone has been unkind to you, and you need me to know this…you need me to understand how this felt to you. You need me to love you…to reassure you that you are loved, and understood.
What do you say when a trauma involves children? We often have no idea what to say in the face of senseless...
By Father Charles Hudson. Source from Reclaiming Christmas, by Ginger Jurries. When faced with the loss of a loved one we are forced to make a decision to help ourselves move through the pain. The holidays increase the pain because they validate the absence and the death of our child or sibling (or mate) and challenge us to make some basic decisions on just how we will get through the next few weeks. I would like to make a few suggestions for you to ponder and decide upon as the holidays descend upon us.
