I asked a friend, Nancy, to respond to this question and also to describe some of her daily challenges:
The “uneventful everyday” is a mixed blessing when caring for a person with a chronic illness, in my case caring for a person with Parkinson ’s disease (PD). One person described living with PD was like trying to drive with the brakes on.
Dear Karen,
How do I know if my mom has Alzheimer’s disease? What are some of the early signs of this disease? -Betty
Dear Betty:
Good question, Betty. Many people, including myself, want to know what signs to look for. For wisdom on this subject I went to wonderful resource, Coach Broyles’ Playbook for Alzheimer’s Caregivers. Frank Broyles, is Athletic Director Emeritus for the University of Arkansas Razorbacks. His wife, Barbara, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Frank says, “I had many questions and spent a lot of time looking for answers. What I learned is contained in my book, Playbook for Alzheimer’s Caregivers.”
One of the first topics which Coach Broyles deals with in his book is what signs to look for.
Margaret Vermeer served as a missionary in Nigeria. When she was seven months pregnant, she received the report that a biopsy of a small tumor was malignant. Five weeks after the surgery to remove the tumors, she gave birth to a son, then began chemotherapy and radiation treatments. For two years she had a miraculous remission, but then gradually more tumors appeared.
Dear Karen:
I have been a caregiver for 15 years. I recently had to assist in reporting a case of elder abuse. It was not physical abuse, but my patient’s grand children were taking money from her without her permission. My patient has dementia. Someone else reported the stealing, I just verified the facts, and the family blamed me. They assumed I made the initial call. I told them that I spoke to the agency involved—legally I had to reveal the facts as I saw them. I’ve been treated terribly. I had to resign. My heart is broken. How do you cope with the sudden separation? I acted out of concern for my patient. Now she will be placed in assisted living—a far cry from the life she is accustomed to. Her husband will remain in a long term rehab center and will not be able to join his wife. She will wither and die because her children are not active in her life. I am asking God to show me how to understand.
If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Providing hope to someone whose days are dark with worry or who is suffering with a serious illness is also giving them courage and the vitality to keep moving. What are some things we can do to bring that touch of hope?
Hello! My name is Annette Kuiper. I’ve been blessed from the Lord to be married for 3 years now to a my husband, Tim. I’m 28 years old and am the oldest of 5 children. I’ve grown up in Michigan all my life. My younger brother is getting married this year, and I came up with a letter called “Advice From Your Older Sister”. It was meant to bring up subjects to think and talk about as he is anticipating married life. Now they might help you as well.
Dear Karen:
My sister Tess is a diabetic and has been hospitalized frequently. She recently had a foot amputated and is struggling to regain her mobility and independence. Tess lives alone and has frequently denied that she needs help, but visiting her apartment it is apparent she needs help. What would be the best way to approach this subject her? We all love her and want to help her recover. - Bobbie
The girl that grew up next door to us has been going through this. I usually talk to her once a week, and some of her friends do really nice things for her: They have helped her with car pooling her kids, and have invited her kids to dinner, but not her, so she had some time off. Two of her friends took her on a special weekend outing for her wedding anniversary, and her mom took take care of her kids.
