4 Tips for Helping a Friend Who’s Having Marital Problems


Do you know what to say when a friend shares that he or she is having marital problems? You want to help and lend a caring ear, but you also know that saying the wrong thing might turn your friend away when they need you most. What if could sit down with a marriage counselor […]

Ask, Don’t Tell


When a friend is suffering, we want to help. That assistance comes in many forms but often starts its journey with words. What’s the best way to start? Ask, don’t tell. Nobody likes to be “told” what to do, and it’s no different when a friend is experiencing a difficulty in life. Marriage and Family […]

Don’t Quote Scripture to a Suffering Friend

Editor’s note: the following story is adapted from Karen’s book, The Compassionate Congregation. Judy shares the following story: My sister, who had been one of my best friends, and I had a falling out. I was devastated. Despite my efforts to mend the situation she would not speak to me. I shared my heartache with […]

Before You Offer Advice, Stop and Ask These 5 Questions


Consider this scenario: your friend has told you about a difficult life situation he/she is currently experiencing. Your mind is swirling with possible suggestions on how to deal with this difficulty. Should you jump in with your advice? Marriage and Family Therapist Tony Bordenkircher says you might want to take a moment and reflect before […]

How to Care for a Friend Shattered by Infidelity

Editor’s note: The following story comes to us from “Mary.” Due to the sensitive nature of Mary’s situation, we have changed her name. Mary told me, “Two weeks before the birth of our son, the most dreadful thing happened:  I discovered that my husband was having an affair.  I had suspected it, but in every […]

12 Date Night Ideas to Help Nurture Your Marriage


Chris and Becky Marlink have established a wonderful Valentine’s Day tradition that allows them to make time for each other on a regular basis. Each year, Chris gives Becky 12 envelopes with ideas for date nights.  “12 date nights means time together throughout the year,” says Chris—and it also means no vegging out in front […]

Valentine’s Day: 12 Envelopes, More Connection with Your Mate


By Chris Marlink   “A great marriage takes TIME.” — Captain Obvious A flourishing marriage takes time A flourishing marriage requires the investment of significant amounts of time. That’s obvious, right? No one stumbles into relational bliss. You have to sweat for it. You have to put in the time. The thing is, even if […]

What to do for a Friend Dealing with Infidelity


Do you know what to do if your friend shares that her husband is having an affair? You might not know what to say, or how to best care for your friend in her time of need. Here are seven things people have shared that were helpful when they were going through this painful time […]

The Power of Healing Touch in Caregiving

For a moment, stop and recall what it feels like to have your hands massaged. What sensations and words come into your mind?  I think of words like soothing, relaxing, peaceful and “oh, that’s so nice!” Almost everyone will appreciate a hand massage, even men. Several years ago when I was in Haiti, we visited […]

New Year’s Care Well Challenge


Are you ready to make care giving a regular part of your life? As the New Year begins, many people are thinking about making resolutions and starting new habits to live better lives. Now, maybe New Year’s resolutions aren’t really your “thing.” But perhaps you could resolve to include caregiving in your daily life. Imagine […]

Connect with Karen

Do you need some specific caregiving wisdom or want to share a personal story of kind care? Let Karen Mulder help. Get a personal response from her, right here. Ask Karen
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