Who would willingly choose the following lifestyle?
AN ADDICTS NIGHTMARE
I hate who I am, what I have become,
A parasite living and using off anyone and anything.
I only exist because I keep looking
For the perfect high.
I lie, manipulate, abuse others and
I occupy my time plotting my next high,
My false state of happiness.
I beg for release of this pain, silently
Plea for help to stop using,
To have the strength to let go of this drug
And its grip on my throat.
However, I give up easily and finally fall into a restless sleep.
I am dead to the world.
I am dead to myself.
As I sleep I can feel the spiders moving
Around inside my head
Eating away past memories of love and friends.
As they spin cobwebs of deception that cloud my reality with lies,
Guilt and shame.
I shake myself awake, make a phone call
And begin the dreaded long wait
For life’s energy, my elixir I need to exist.
I can feel everyone outside is watching me
And I hide in the shadows waiting…waiting…
Finally, I see my only friend. My supplier of life.
I sneak out, meet him on the curb and give him my new iPod and $50.
He gives me a small bag and leaves.
I go back inside sneak into the safety of my attic.
And carefully open the bag, fill my glass God.
Slowly heat the contents, inhale deeply, and hold my breath, hold, and exhale. A new run has begun.